The Daily Grind of a Work @ Home Mom...

From the archives: When Worlds Collide

This post first appeared on TDG on May 26, 2011.  I still think about this all the time, mostly because people often identify me as a blogger (which inevitably leads to the what's your blog? question), and as a result of the rise of social media, where I proudly list my URL and new posts.  So people read. I know that. And I'm almost ok with it.  Almost.

When I first started this blog, it coincided with the launch of my webstore.  Not a coincidence though; I had been advised to try to create buzz about my new venture utilizing blogs.  It was the beginning of review blogging and a time when bloggers actually responded to small businesses looking for reviews in exchange for nothing more than a sample and sometimes a giveaway item. 

Being a writer at heart, the natural progression was to start a blog myself at that time.  I had a good reason (my store), lots of opinions to share (cuz everyone cares), and I was staying home with my new baby leaving plenty of time to stir up the creative juices.

What I couldn't anticipate on that day in April of 2007 (wow was I green) was that four years later, not only would I still be blogging on this platform, but I'd be considered a "blogger".  That I would have parlayed my experience in the blogosphere into a day job.  That people would be reading. 

That people I KNEW would be reading.

And the worlds collide. 

I didn't talk much about my blog to my "real-life" people very much for the first few years.  I mean, they may have known I had one, but I never publicized it outside of that crazy underbelly world of blogosphere.  I had my fellow blog people, and my real-life people.  And I was good with that.

Lately though, as I move forward and meet people and stuff, Google has become a better friend.  I've gotten so good at manipulating it that I can find out the most basic to totally random stuff about people with almost no information.  And I know that the opposite is true too.

But mostly, I come up with Facebook pages, blank Twitter streams, maybe some weird article or random resume.  Not fair!  I put a lot of stuff here.  While there's a hugely gigantic part of me that is reserved for my IRL friends (you know, the personal stuff I don't talk about here), there's lots of stuff here!  Stuff about how I parent, my opinions, my style of doing things - just... stuff.

So when my worlds collide, when someone I sort of know says "OMG, I read in your blog that blahblahblah..." it makes me a little nervous. Takes me totally out of my comfort zone.  Weird, right?  I mean I singlehandedly am responsible for putting it here!  But you know, it's not because there is so much stuff here, but mainly because there's so much stuff NOT here.  I'm often surprised when I meet a blogger I read regularly.  I'm typically struck either by the fact that they're edgier than they put out there, or  they're a little more reserved IRL than they portray publicly. 

It goes with the territory.  I know that.  But if you want to know me, I mean, really know me?  Call me, let's get a drink. :)

Pushing her in the pool: learn to swim or forever fear water?

I have two children, both girls.  One is rather outgoing and somewhat of a risk-taker (sort of like me) while the other is more cautious and slightly stand-offish, especially in new situations.  She's five, so it's not unusual, but it's sometimes a bit unfamiliar to me.  Once she's comfortable in her surroundings though, she's perfectly fine.

The stand-off'ish child is my oldest and she has always been more reserved than my little one.  It's possible that this part of her personality is what lead to a rough experience at a pretty rustic summer camp last summer and an excited anxiousness surrounding the beginning of elementary school this September.  She's not the first person to introduce herself on the playground but she's not the last either.  She is extremely smart, engaged, interested in playing and learning, but still, she doesn't break free from my grasp to hit the scary house on Halloween nor will she open your fridge door to see what's inside.  On the flip side, she's polite, attentive, and fun to be around.

She doesn't like going in other people's cars.  Since I have had a pretty flexible schedule until recently, she never really had to.  Now it becomes a bit of an issue when there's snow or rain and one of the generous other moms offers her and her adult a ride home from school (which is within walking distance).  There's an after-school birthday party next week that which, in order to go, she would need to take a ride one way with friends we both know very, very well, and get picked up by her own dad.  In between, she'll be treated to jumpy houses, cake, pizza, party favors and whatever else is included in a kindergartner's birthday party.

First she said she refused to go unless I take her.  Problem is (I'm a very bad mom), I cannot leave work to take my child to a birthday party. 

I've told her I already RSVP'd that she'd be there.  That brought tears.  So I told her she didn't have to go, but everyone in the class would be there.  I also told her that she can't have a birthday party of her own this year because since she ditches everyone else's party, no one will come.  She didn't really care as long as her own family would celebrate with her.

Her dad believes we should encourage her to go without necessarily forcing her, but using language that would give her less choice in the matter, resulting in her going to the party.  While I agree with him, my fear is that of  the throwing the kid in the pool scenario: does that kid really learn to swim or will she forever fear water? 

Ok, I realize this is small stuff in the grand scheme of things but it's the problem of the week.  I hope it's my biggest problem, like, ever, but the point is why is there no handbook for this stuff????

Last night when I asked her if she wanted to go to the store to pick out a present for the birthday boy (my attempt to gently see where she currently stands on topic - after all, she's five and changes her mind as often as the light turns green), her response was that she's not sure she's going.

"But I'm thinking about it, Mom.  I'm thinking about it."

Did I mention she's just five?

Would you like a little t & a with your tech?

I came across this little segment (below) that appeared on the BBC about how many companies employ the use of hot women to lure the mostly male attendees at CES to their booths. In case you are not in the tech industry, the Consumer Electronics Show is the world's largest consumer technology tradeshow where major companies exunveil new products, and pretty much everyone in the tech industry attends.  The piece did a good job of showing both sides of the story but my question is, is this really even a story?

If you watch the piece, you'll see a woman who works in the tech industry who isn't necessarily offended by the blatant use of the the old adage "sex sells" on the show floor, but rather she finds it "uncomfortable" and "weird" and wishes that the message that this is what her sex is here to do (ie, be sexy) would somehow be different. 

Another woman says that the "booth babes" blast an inaccurate message of how women fit into the technology industry.

Hmmm...  I wonder what the ratio of female industry attendees at CES is versus the number of sexy booth babes.  I'm going to bet that there were thousands of women walking the show floor this week versus the few hundred that were working it.  And I'm being generous since this show took place in Vegas after all, and unless something's changed since the last time I was there, a prevailing theme in Vegas happens to be hot women.  Also I wonder if there was food being sold within the walls of CES.  Were the food sellers indicative of who takes part in the tech industry?

No more than the sexy ladies were, my friends.

Ok, clearly I'm a woman and while I'm not a feminist by any stretch, I believe in equal whatever and not only that, I've been part of the tech industry in one way or another since graduating university.  And I'm here to say, this isn't a life thing, it's a world-wide thing.  In case you missed the memo, sex sells.  And these tradeshows are as much about marketing as they are about anything else.

So I'm not surprised that serious tech companies hired Vegas showgirls to, ahem, handle their product at CES, all that surprises me is how lazy this tactic is.  Don't these behemoth brands have high-priced  PR agencies and ad firms on the payroll to help them come up with some new, compelling way to stand-out in a crowd?  Aside from the animal vile man who asked the gal in the booth for her phone number, are we still so intrigued by a little t & a?

Seems so.  I mean, even women (GASP) flock to the stands when People Magazine releases its Sexiest Man Alive feature each year.  And I saw MANY women fixing themselves when Harry Connick Jr. took the stage at Blissdom a few years ago.  I was there and I know I wasn't that taken with his music.  He was just very, very nice to stare at.

Double standard much?

So let's just admit it and get it over with.  We can be smart, motivated, successful women AND we can be sexy - why does one compromise the other?  In fact, it's my humble opinion that one complements the other.  So let's just agree to own it and enjoy the show.

'Booth Babes' Upset CES Women

Alex Casey Baby is officially an Etsy store and FREE SHIPPING!

As many of you know, I've decided to close down my webstore, Alex Casey Baby.  After four+ years, you all seem to love our personalized items so rest assured you will still be able to buy our beautiful customized towels and blankets at my brand-new Etsy store: http://www.etsy.com/shop/AlexCaseyBabyOnline.

For a limited time, get free shipping on all orders placed in my new Etsy shop using promo code Freeship2012.  So tell all your friends, since this offer won't last long.  Thanks for your continued support!

 

From the archives: Escaping the Madness, AKA Going Back to Work

This post first appeared on TDG on June 28, 2011 and was originally published at The Parenting Connection on June 25, 2011.  But I really, really like it.  And you will too.

About a year ago, I made the leap from being a work-at-home-mom who blogged, maintained my webstore, and freelanced, to going back to work outside of my house in an actual office. For the preceding three years, most of my work had happened within the confines of my home office, with the exception of events and the occasional meeting.  Often, it happened with a small child in my lap.

I was the quintessential work-at-home-mom.

Going back to work didn’t happen overnight.  For months I was restless.  Don’t get me wrong – my schedule was a dream.  I had the privilege of doing drop-off and pick-up, carpooling between play-dates, attending mommy and me classes, and I had my own thing on the side.  It was any mom’s dream job.

Except it wasn’t my dream job.

During my down time between shuttling back and forth from ballet and music class, I came to the conclusion that I was – dare I say it – bored.  I was enjoying my days, but I wanted more.  And in order to achieve my personal goals, I knew I had to get out of my yoga pants, and back into my work clothes.

I needed to be clever.  I had been out of the work force for a while, but it hadn’t been all diapers and wipes.  In that time, I had become a member of the blogger community and I’d also learned a little HTML code by way of my webstore.  But what’s more is that I had been paying attention.  I knew social media was becoming less of a sub-culture and more of a force to be reckoned with.  I was intrigued by this new platform and I had the unique experience of being both a blogger and a former PR person.  And I’d been to journalism school.   This combination, I quickly learned, made me marketable.  So I forged ahead and landed a gig that suited my goals and my Mom needs. Flexibility was paramount since I wasn’t interested in being that mom who introduced herself to the other parents at graduation.  I wanted to attend pediatrician appointments yet still be included in business development meetings at work.  I wanted a lot, but luckily, I was able to find it.

Finally, I was back.  Doing a job, getting paid by someone else.  Talking with other human beings (over three feet tall), attending meetings, eating lunch without tiny voices making demands and without little bodies who wouldn’t sit still even after being warned one, two, three times that a time-out is imminent if they didn’t stay in their seats.

Here’s the part where you’re expecting me to admit how much I missed the tiny voices, the little bodies, the counting.  But the thing is, I didn’t.  And still, most days, I don’t.  I don’t because I know that my absence during the day makes me a better mom the rest of the time.  I’ve learned the alchemy of quality over quantity.  My working outside of the house brings me a sense of accomplishment that I was missing before.  It fills the intellectual void that is crucial to my, and therefore my family’s well-being.

Working moms vs. stay-at-home moms.  The debate endures with interesting points of view for both teams.  But for this Mama the choice is clear, and one year later I’m more sure than ever.

The Rockettes did it again

And again.  And again.

On Saturday morning, we hit the Wang Theatre for what is most definitely one of my favorite family shows, The Radio City Christmas Spectacular starring The Rockettes.  If you have any holiday spirit, you have to catch this show.  It just infuses you with that Christmas feeling (and this coming from the Jewish girl). 

Last year the show impressed us.  And this year, the Rockettes lived up to our expectations, and even surpassed them with a freshness to the show. The performance included those scissor perfect kicking legs, hot little outfits, Santa (Mrs. Claus was conspicuously MIA - did the big D hit the North Pole, too?), the cute dancing bears and an amazing Nutcracker scene.  Props to the young ballerina dancing Clara who is such an incredible talent!

Included in the show is the traditional sleighride, those fantastic wooden soldiers, and of course the nativity scene (camels on stage, Mom?  Are they real?).  My personal favorite part was the new "New York at Christmas" scene, complete with the Rockettes in glamorous white coats and hats taking a tour of New York City in a life-sized double-decker tour bus. As the bus changes position and direction, the new 50-foot LED screen backdrop gives the illusion that they are moving from one major attraction to another. It has a 3D-like effect and was really awesome.  As in AWE-some.

You know, I think the best thing about the Rockettes show, apart from the dazzling effects, amazing costumes, those legs, the legs, and the legs, is that it's completely suitable for everyone, age three to 93.  Seriously.  Before we bundled ourselves up in our coats and mittess to head away from the magic and back to the real world, my daughters made me promise that we would visit the Rockettes again next year.

And promise I did.

I received four tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular starring The Rockettes to facilitate this review.  All opinions are my own.

 

 

 

 

Facebook is changing and it's fine with me

Over the next few weeks I expect to see a lot of status updates along the lines of "no more changes!" and "Facebook sucks."  I'm also sure #FacebookSucks will trend on Twitter for a day or two before people are done moaning about the changes that are about to be rolled out.

It's called Timeline and it actually looks really cool.  It essentially takes all the data that FB has been collecting since the day we joined the social network and puts it out there for better or for worse.  I know that when I signed up for the virtually unknown social site in, say, 2007'ish, my life looked VASTLY different than it does now.  As a person who still has old letters from 1985 and boxes of journals and diaries filled with tales of teen angst, I know looking through my old stuff will be fun.  For me.  Maybe not for you, but for me Facebook's new timeline equals one more cardboard box filled with my memories.  Of which I love to hoard (save for a few that I could live without, but whatever).

The new layout is more visually (over)stimulating, with pictures and true to its name, a timeline.  It includes "highlights" from the year (how it knows what to label a "highlight", I'm not sure) and makes a sort of collage of your life/page.  To the right is a literal timeline that allows visitors to your page to see what you were up to in July of 2009, should they be curious.

To be honest, it's just a different way of presenting info that was already there.  As it stands, you can scroll pretty far through someones FB history if you have the time, this new feature just saves you hours of clicking through and is prettier.  It's been proven that people are more compelled to stick around for visual stimulation rather than written text and of course the folks at FB are no dummies.  After all, Mark Zuckerberg is the king of the world, right?

So there's also another reason why Facebook has been collecting info on us all these years even if it has been tucked away on some virtual shelf somewhere in the Cloud.  It's a thing called big data and it's basically the idea that little bits of info about us are being collected every day based on where we are (our mobile phones), where we shop (credit card companies/online shops), where we eat (again), and just about everything else we do.  Ever wonder how the scanner at the grocery store knows what coupons to offer you?  It follows how you shop, what aisle you're in and what you've bought previously.  That little scanner isn't just a nifty time-saver.  It's got a brain.

Virtually nothing we do goes undetected by something, somewhere.  This may scare you, it may sound creepy, but it's the way it is. 

So with the roll-out of Facebook's new look and amplified content, expects ads in the sidebar that you might actually click on.  And other things that I'm not smart enough to anticipate.  Because that Zuckerberg has been watching and listeing to every move you've made.  And now he's cashing in on it.

And it's not necessarily a bad thing cuz, hey!  I love those pics of myself that yopu posted of me in November of 2009 at that place that night...

Those Ungrateful Kids...

As a follow-up to JKL's hilarious Halloween joke, take a look at the Christmas present version:

 

The "I really don't care if you're gay" Post

I read a post this morning by a blogger I love to not love ("we don't use the word hate, Mommy") who told a story about a call she had from a friend.  Her friend, she recounted, wanted to know how she would feel if one of her own kids were gay. The blogger's response was that she would be sad for a while and she might mourn her dreams of the elaborate weddings (to members of the opposite sex) she foresaw after birthing her children as they went down the drain.  (Seriously?  The biggest hope I had for my kids upon their births was their ability to one day sleep through the night, followed closely by their capacity to feed themselves, because spooning baby mush into my kids mouths was not generally one of my greatest pleasures as was promised in the brochure.)  But I digress.

This topic of gay kids is actually something I've thought about many times, mostly because many of my own friends have come out in the last decade or so, and while I imagine that there are many factors that come into play when deciding if and when to come out, I would think that a parent's response (followed by the attitude of the judgey community many of us come from) might play a big role in finding the courage to make this private debut. 

To be honest, my general response to hearing a friend is gay is generally along the lines of, "no kidding, finally.  Pass the ketchup."  I mean, it's my opinion that everyone deserves a little happiness.  And who you choose to spend your life with, sleep with, live with or bear children with has no bearing on my life.  But whether the people I care about choose mates with whom they might find lasting happiness?  That matters.

The other thing is, I don't dream of my daughters' weddings.  I didn't dream about my own wedding day prior to the nightmares it lent itself to during the planning stages.  I do, however, look forward to a day when my children are made as happy as I am by their own children and that has nothing to do with being married to a boy or being married to a girl or even being married.  It just has to do with being a parent.  And while I know that my opinion wouldn't get me invited to dinner with members of the GOP (which is totally fine by me), it just is my opinion.

In debating these points over the dinner table, I've heard closed-minded opinions like, "children deserve to be brought up in a home with a mother and a father" or "what message are we sending by endorsing same-sex couples raising kids?"' and my response is ALWAYS the same:

How many conventional marriages end up in divorce?  What percentage of married couples actually exhibit loving behaviors within their own homes?  How many kids from homes with both Mom and Dad witness unhappiness, loneliness, tension, stress and animosity?

Look, I'm not saying that same sex couples don't fight, don't have stress and don't break-up.  All I'm saying is that kids need love, positively and unequivocally.  Whether it's from parents of the opposite sex, same-sex parents, black and white parents or a single parent, it's really about love and stability.  And where and who and how that love is delivered, as long as it's within the confines of a safe and calm environment, I'm in.

So if my kids decide they want to love someone of the same gender, I won't die.  I won't kick and I won't scream.  I will be grateful that they have found someone they want to love in a world where the idea of "soul mate" and marriage" seems as antiquated as the notion of "barefoot and pregnant."  In other words, what's important to me isn't the need to live by conventions determined by society, but rather it's more important that the people I love make choices that just might lead to their ultimate happiness, however that may look.

Live and let live, people.  Live and let live.

The Rockettes return to Boston!

It's becoming a bit of a holiday tradition that our Jewish family hits The Radio City Christmas Spectacular starring The Rockettes show in December.  I mean, it's only our second year, but I can definitely see where this is going.  Because even before we knew we had seats, we were talking about it at breakfast. 

"Mommy, you know that show we saw last year with the dancers and Santa and the presents?"

"Yep," I answered.

"Let's do that again," said my five year old daughter.  And I agreed.

We soooo loved it last year.  Not at all what I was expecting, the famous Rockettes are more than a bunch of perfect legs.  It's a terrific story including all the holiday faves - Santa and Mrs. Claus, the elves, Santa's Helpers, many of Santa's toys, the Wooden Soldiers, and so many other holiday characters.  Even for this Jewish bunch, it got us in the spirit of things.   And a visit to the gorgeous Citi Performing Arts Center Wang Theater is a treat in itself!

We are so looking forward to this year's show, which features brand-new scenes and songs, spectacular new sets, dazzling new costumes, an amazing 50-foot LED screen, and a new finale.  We can't wait to see the incredible precision dancing of The Rockettes, and especially the new number “Christmas in New York,” featuring a chorus of Broadway-style singers and a life-sized double-decker bus!

You too can take your family to see The Rockettes at the Citi Performing Arts Center Wang Theater between now and December 28th, or select a non-peak show and save 25% off* your tickets:

How to Buy Tickets at 25% off*:
1. Log onto: www.citicenter.org/radiocity

2. Select a NON Peak Performance (not bolded) between Sat, Dec 7^th – Dec 28^th for your 25% off discount:

12/2/2011 at 8 pm

12/16/2011 at 2 pm, 5 pm

12/3/2011 at 11 am, 2 pm, 5 pm, 8 pm

12/17/2011 at 11 am, 2 pm, 5 pm, 8 pm

12/4/2011 at 12 pm, 3 pm, 6 pm

12/18/2011 at 12 pm, 3 pm, 6 pm

12/7/2011 at 2 pm

12/20/2011 at 2 pm, 7:30 pm

12/8/2011 at 2 pm, 7:30 pm

12/21/2011 at 2 pm, 7:30 pm

12/9/2011 at 2 pm, 5 pm, 8 pm

12/22/2011 at 5 pm, 8 pm

12/10/2011 at 11 am, 2 pm, 5 pm, 8 pm

12/23/2011 at 2 pm, 5 pm, 8 pm

12/11/2011 at 12 pm, 3 pm, 6 pm

12/26/2011 at 2 pm, 5 pm

12/13/2011 at 7:30 pm

12/27/2011 at 2 pm, 5 pm

12/14/2011 at 2 pm, 7:30 pm

12/28/2011 at 2 pm, 5 pm

12/15/2011 at 2 pm, 7:30 pm

Bolded Performances = Peak Pricing/no Discount    

3. Enter Promo Code: ROXMOM11
*Offer is not valid for Gold Circle - $130 seats, for which there are no discounts. There is a 8 ticket limit on this event.
Pricing                                                Peak                Non-Peak
Orchestra (Pit & Rows A-D):             $130.00                 $130.00
Orchestra (Rows E-O center):            $99.00                    $89.00
Orchestra (Rows E-O sides, P-EE):    $83.00                   $73.00

Mezzanine:                                       $83.00                   $73.00

Balcony (Rows E-J):                          $83.00                   $73.00
Balcony (Rows K-S):                          $74.00                   $64.00
Balcony (Rows T-Z):                          $58.00                    $48.00
Balcony (Rows AA-FF):                     $29.00                    $25.00

Prices include a $3.00 Facility Fee.

I received four tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular starring The Rockettes to facilitate this review. All opinions are my own.