It has to be done. I mean, someone needs to step-up to the plate and let people know what the proper etiquette is if you're going to join the 200 million+ and use Facebook. Have you had an account for years? This post is for you too. ;)
- Friending every single person you've ever known, and/or every single person you meet, is cheesy. Take it from me. Just because I met you once in passing does not mean I want to see pictures of your dog and kids nor does it mean I want you to have access to my innermost status updates.
- If I didn't like you then, I'm not gonna like you now. It's possible that we're both on FB. In fact, it's likely. But if we had no great love for each other back then, one swift click of the mouse is not going to change that. Let's be honest with ourselves and skip it.
- Maybe we did like each other back then, so please do Friend me! But if we haven't had contact in 20 years, it'd be considered polite to drop a short note. Just a little, "Hey! It's been years! We're both on this thing, nice to see you!" or something equally as generic will do.
- Don't ignore me. If I actually bothered to send you a note, again, mind your manners and write back. It's just common courtesy.
- Don't collect Friends. Seriously, I have to wonder about people who have 1201 Friends. There's just no way you actually have that many friends.
- Shameless self-promoters need not apply. 'Nuff Said.
- About your status. Keeping in mind that a status update is simply meant to be a brief glimpse into what's going on in your day, it's good to keep it just that. that you just got lucky, that you just let loose some excess gas, that your child just took a dump on the toilet are NOT solid excuses for a status update! Try to keep it entertaining, light and most importantly, try to make it appealing to your wide variety of Friends. My rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it in real life, don't say it on FB.
- About those photos. I'm all about the photo albums on FB. But those pics of your child sitting on the toilet sporting an ear-to-ear grin? Keep it for the (private) family album. This is cute to no one but you. Period.
And there you have it. Though I'm by no means a FB guru, I am someone who spends lotsa time perusing the thing and in my time have picked up a thing or two about proper etiquette.
Next up, Twitter-quette. Here's a sneak-peak:
So I have about 20 "friend" requests in my inbox (plus admittedly, probably another 20 or so that I "ignored") that totally mystify me (people I've never even met, PR folks who want to connect, people I might have known at some point but honestly cannot remember them, others who are possibly mistaking me for one of my 6 siblings....). I almost wrote about this very topic.
I guess some people look at FB as a free for all but for me, I only connect with people I have developed a relationship with because yes, I do post pictures of my family there and I don't want that for public consumption (duh, that's why I set the privacy so only my friends can see it). In general, I use LinkedIn for anyone professional, Facebook purely for personal, and Twitter is a free for all of course.
Bottom line is that all of these social media devices conjure some weird adolescent popularity contest feelings for some people and hence, people go berserk with friending.
The one bullet I might push back on is #2. One thing I have worked on in recent years is letting go of old baggage and it's been really awesome to see how people have grown and moved on. I've accepted several friend requests from people who actually included a note saying, "Hey, sorry I was such an a**hole back in..." and we've since had really lovely communication.
-Christine
Posted by: Boston Mamas | July 10, 2009 at 08:33 AM
My wife and I just opened a facebook account. I am still getting used to it but she has been actively inviting friends to join.
Posted by: arizona insurance | July 10, 2009 at 09:47 PM
This comment above mine cracked me up!
Posted by: Jodi - Mom's Favorite Stuff | July 28, 2009 at 06:57 AM