I Have A Dream

Ok, so maybe my dream isn't quite so selfless and world-changing as MLK's was in 1963.  But it's my dream, and I'm waking up to a pretty clear memory of it.

I had a dream last night that I went back to a full-time job outside of the home.  In the dream, the people were cool, the office was great, and my job was perfect.  In the dream, there was a party the first day, a meeting where the boss related to the employees, and women who weren't bitchy (I know, but one can dream!)  But all through this perfect scenario dream, I felt, even in my dream, uneasy about something. 

In the dream I hadn't had a formal "offer", hadn't been told my hours, and never actually agreed to anything.  Probably because in my real-life, though I'm getting itchy to re-join the outside of home workforce, I'm not looking to spend 40+ hours a week away from my babies.

But I want to work.

But I  also want to be that mom who dispenses 3 meals per day and is there for playgroups and school events.

I'm certain I'm not alone in this.  I know I can't be the only former working woman to daydream about getting dressed in more than Lulu Lemon's in the morning and having people ask me about more than what time preschool drop-off is.  But at the same time, I need to ensure that I am the one who is present at drop-off (and pick-up) at least most days.  What to do.

I've been sending out resumes for opportunities that offer contract and part-time hours.  My specialty is writing, but isn't everybody's these days?  (and the fact that I actually have a university degree stating this doesn't seem to separate me from the sea of wannabe's...)  And since I'm self-taught at the art of social media and the use of online tools for effective marketing and promotion, I'm advertising myself as an asset to any social media team.

Only catch is, I don't do full-time.

This is a struggle at best.  I mean I'm committed, I'm ready, and the money would be awesome (running an online store and freelancing is fabulous, but isn't the fabulous source of income you'd think it might be).  But not at the cost of sacrificing 40+ hours per week with my daughters.  And as I snuggled close to the warm body of my 3-year-old this morning, this fact became crystal clear.

But it's 8:37am, and I'm wearing my Lulu Lemons...  

Sabrina accompanying Mom to a Stonyfield Farm blogger event, September 2009.

Comments

[Aimee]

I hear ya sister!

[Allison]

Same thing here. I just made the move to SAHM, knowing that at the same time I want to start my own business/freelance to keep me up-to-date with everything. And to have an outlet for my creativity. It's a struggle, but I wouldn't give up my time with the kiddo.