I have two children, both girls. One is rather outgoing and somewhat of a risk-taker (sort of like me) while the other is more cautious and slightly stand-offish, especially in new situations. She's five, so it's not unusual, but it's sometimes a bit unfamiliar to me. Once she's comfortable in her surroundings though, she's perfectly fine.
The stand-off'ish child is my oldest and she has always been more reserved than my little one. It's possible that this part of her personality is what lead to a rough experience at a pretty rustic summer camp last summer and an excited anxiousness surrounding the beginning of elementary school this September. She's not the first person to introduce herself on the playground but she's not the last either. She is extremely smart, engaged, interested in playing and learning, but still, she doesn't break free from my grasp to hit the scary house on Halloween nor will she open your fridge door to see what's inside. On the flip side, she's polite, attentive, and fun to be around.
She doesn't like going in other people's cars. Since I have had a pretty flexible schedule until recently, she never really had to. Now it becomes a bit of an issue when there's snow or rain and one of the generous other moms offers her and her adult a ride home from school (which is within walking distance). There's an after-school birthday party next week that which, in order to go, she would need to take a ride one way with friends we both know very, very well, and get picked up by her own dad. In between, she'll be treated to jumpy houses, cake, pizza, party favors and whatever else is included in a kindergartner's birthday party.
First she said she refused to go unless I take her. Problem is (I'm a very bad mom), I cannot leave work to take my child to a birthday party.
I've told her I already RSVP'd that she'd be there. That brought tears. So I told her she didn't have to go, but everyone in the class would be there. I also told her that she can't have a birthday party of her own this year because since she ditches everyone else's party, no one will come. She didn't really care as long as her own family would celebrate with her.
Her dad believes we should encourage her to go without necessarily forcing her, but using language that would give her less choice in the matter, resulting in her going to the party. While I agree with him, my fear is that of the throwing the kid in the pool scenario: does that kid really learn to swim or will she forever fear water?
Ok, I realize this is small stuff in the grand scheme of things but it's the problem of the week. I hope it's my biggest problem, like, ever, but the point is why is there no handbook for this stuff????
Last night when I asked her if she wanted to go to the store to pick out a present for the birthday boy (my attempt to gently see where she currently stands on topic - after all, she's five and changes her mind as often as the light turns green), her response was that she's not sure she's going.
"But I'm thinking about it, Mom. I'm thinking about it."
Did I mention she's just five?
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