The Daily Grind of a Work @ Home Mom...

It's a Small Blogosphere After All

I took some time away from my computer over the long holiday weekend to spend some good time with my girls.  We did all kinds of fun things, including eating, shopping, eating, going to the park, eating, taking walks, and eating.

Last night once they were in bed, I returned to my desk to catch up on my reader and see what I'd missed over the weekend.  Seems I'd entered back into the blogosphere just after all hell had broken loose stemming from an unpopular post written by a controversial blogger.  Since this mama-drama means nothing more to me than sideline entertainment (much like a very low-end cat-fight), I won't bore you with details, but there is a point to this story.

So I was following all these links to blogs and message boards to see just how wide-spread this blog-fire had gotten, when I happened upon a link to a blog I'd never read nor heard of.  With no real reason or explanation as to why, I clicked the link and started reading this new post about this blogger's thoughts on the bloggy shit-storm as well as her thoughts on mommy-bloggers in general.

You see, this blogger is not involved in the day-to-day dramatics that seem to encompass many bloggers.  She simply took a chance and joined the blogosphere, and as such, won herself a trip to BlogHer last July.  In her post, she talks about her shock and awe at many of the attitudes that surround blogging and that were present at BlogHer.  For most of us, we are so entrenched in the bad that comes with the good in blogging, the ubiquitous "bad apples" that seem to try to ruin the whole bunch.  Most of us know who we are interested in learning from, who we wish to keep our distance from, and who we might like to form relationships with.  In all, it is a very convoluted business.  (Sounds crazy, right?)

AANNYYWWAAYY...

I continued reading her post until I came to a story of an experience this rookie blogger took away with her:

'...I stopped at one break-out where one Mommy blogger was complaining that she had been told that she would be test driving a new dishwasher but after waiting for almost a month the sponsor asked if she would please accept a new washer and dryer instead. She sighed that sigh of those who feel they have been incredibly inconvenienced and said, "I agreed but I think they should give me the dishwasher too for the inconvenience I have suffered." WHAT?'

I stopped in my tracks.  This anecdote sounded eerily familiar.  Hadn't I had an impromptu meeting outside of a conference room about the status of my Frigidaire appliances for review and hadn't I casually mentioned to the PR person I was working with that the company should throw in an extra something for my trouble?

But see here's the kicker - I WAS JOKING.  

And unfortunately, this blogging newbie had to walk away from what was a wonderful conference experience for some of us, with this distaste for bloggers.  And I had contributed to this.

I subsequently sent the blogger an email, letting her know that I was completely joking around with the PR rep and that I was incredibly grateful for my role in the Frigidaire Test Drive.  And as "uncool" and unpopular as my attitude might be - I am grateful for any and every opportunity I choose to accept to participate in.  Sure, there are many frustrations that come with this gig, but for the most part, I feel really lucky to be part of it.

There will always be crap and ugliness associated to everything, every job, every gig, but there is also good.  I've met some AWESOME people in my bloggy-travels and am sure there's more to come.

Oh, and this seems like a good time to reach out to my readers and say - THANK YOU. 

XOXO

And Sometimes We Do Use Our Powers For Good...

On Tuesday, November 17th, a fellow blogger, mom, and woman named Anissa Mayhew had a stroke that sent her to the ICU.  Anissa has 3 kids and a family and, clearly, has had a very strong impact on this community.

Because everywhere I click, whether it be a blog in my feed or Twitter, there's something about Anissa's condition or someone inquiring about it.  It's apparent Anissa is not a person who lives in a bubble because everyone knows her.  And, it seems, everyone cares.

Hundreds of bloggers are directing readers to Anissa's CaringBridge.org page where they can read updates on her condition as well as help out her family.  A Paypal account has been set-up so people can give a little to her family, if they want to.  The bottom line is, bloggers are using their powers for good.  Just when I'd about given up hope.

I had the pleasure of meeting Anissa a few weeks ago, when she and her Aiming Low team visited Boston and spread some good cheer by throwing a party and inviting local bloggers.  Thanks to Anissa and her party, many bloggers, who are otherwise chained to their families and houses, were treated to a fun night out.  Thanks to Anissa, I won an awesome HP printer that night!  Thanks to Anissa, I had a few great laughs that night, during a time in my life when great laughs are not as frequent as I'd like them to be.

So here I am, jumping on the blogwagon as I like to say.  I'm directing you to the CaringBridge.org page where you can follow Anissa's progress and support her family in several different ways.  Or, you can leave here thinking about a woman who is laying unconscious in ICU today, while her family exists in a what I can only imagine to be a state of terror as they wait for their loved one to wake up. 

Today is a great day to give an extra squeeze to your kids, your spouse, your mom, or whoever it is you love.  Because this woman, who was cracking joke after joke on a stage in front of a hundred or so people a few weeks ago, today lays in a coma. 

PR Fail #231

I love PR.  I used to work in PR, I count on (my own) PR for my company, and I enjoy being reached out to by PR people who wish to combine their client's products with my blog.  But man, sometimes it gets outta hand.

I mean, if you read my blog and have an iota of common sense then you know that the reviews I give and the giveaways I'm lucky enough to host are mainly the result of these PR relationships.  But you also know that something, in some way, is exchanged in order for these reviews to happen.  99.9% of the time it's a sample of the product I'm reviewing.  Just a sample, for me to test-drive, so I can bring you my sincere opinion on product x.  Just as i provide blogs with a sample when I ask them to review a product from Alex Casey Baby.

So how would you feel if you saw a review of a product here that I hadn't put my hands on?  A product that I'd seen in pictures, that I'd read about, but had never used?  I mean, what would that do to my credibility?  Would you ever trust me again?

I didn't think so.  Which is essentially what I told Ms. PR Pro when she sent this email:

Jill,

Hope you're well! I thought this line would be right up your alley for your blog..

Keeping babies and toddler cozy, warm and safe at night just got even more stylish thanks to a savvy line!

Blah Blah Blah...

Happy to share photos, or more information with you. I think your readers will adore this line and it lasts forever!

All my best,

Ms. PR Pro

 

So I responded:

 

Ms. PR Pro,

 

This line looks FAB!  Since I'm the mom of a toddler who still uses sleepsacks (and it's hard to fine ones large enough!), I'd love to review a sleepsack in the toddler section.  We can do this with or without a giveaway, but I think this will be a great success since I receive TONS of hits about swaddles and sleepsacks (and tend to write a lot about them).

Let me know if this works and we can go from there.

Best,

Jill

 

To which she replied:

 

Hi Jill,

Unfortunately at this time we do not have samples to send.  I'd be more than happy to send you photos or additional information, but at this time that's all we'd be able to do.  Thanks so much for your interest.

 

Ummm...  Did I miss something here?  I responded by letting her know that I couldn't imagine how it'd be possible to review something I hadn't seen and let her know that this might be called an advertorial.  But I'm wondering what kind of PR firm thinks this type of outreach, or more importantly, this type of review, might be all that beneficial to the client.  I'm tempted to reveal the firm that bothered with this, and the client's name too, but since that's not really my style, I digress.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

 

 

BlogHer '09 - The Good, the Swag, and the Ugly.

So I'm back.  After almost 5 months of like OMG, what should I wear, I'm finally back from BlogHer '09 and if nothing else, I met some very cool people, some moderately cool people, and some people that I'm sort of embarrassed to share oxygen with.  But whatever.  Here goes.

I have to say that my experience was mostly good.  I really liked the opening remarks and the stats on bloggers and women made me feel proud to be part of this community.  The sessions I attended were engaging, if not all a variation of each other.  Some highlights included Liz Gumbinner of Cool Mom Picks encouraging bloggers to know their passion, and Jessica Bern's hilarious story about calling her dentist to complain of vaginal itch (ya, it related to blogging. At the time.).  Oh, and I laughed like crazy at Danielle Henderson's rendition of her blog post entitled stuck in the middle with you.  Read it.  You won't be sorry.  It's about her vagina and it's funny.

I met some awesome people.  But perhaps my favorite meeting was that of Jozet of Halushki fame.  Why?  Because on Friday night she was the strict scary "bouncer" who wouldn't let me in to the MamaPop party because my name was mysteriously omitted from "the list."  Then on Saturday night she became one of my new favorite people as she inadvertently took the seat beside me (sucks for her!) at an intimate dinner for 6 people.  Seriously, this girl started on my shit list and ended up my new bff.  There goes my bitch sessions about her.  (Don't worry, many others to take that spot.)

But almost as shocking as the total turn-around made by @Halushki was the fact that I actually was totally unimpressed with many of the people I was looking forward to meeting.  Girls who are typically fun to tweet with, others who I've worked with on Alex Casey Baby who I thought might be interested in meeting me were tripping over their own egos as they headed in the other direction.  WTF!!  Ladies (and you know who you are), GET OVER YOURSELVES, K?  Seriously girls, you're running blogs, not the world, so take it down a notch.  And you're not that skinny. 

Speaking of taking it down a notch, I'm so not into all this debbie-downer drama about the swag.  My opinion is this - these companies rely on swag to promote their products.  They are at these events because we are their target market.  It actually matters to these companies that we try and hopefully talk about their stuff.  Now, I'm not talking about those ridiculous bitches who stood in line at the fab TypeAMom party, walked in, grabbed a swag bag and left.  No, those are really icky women who do deserve to be banned from the free shit.  And I'm also not talking about those classy ladies who knocked over pregnant women and children in search of a free pen or laundry detergent sample.  I mean people like myself, who walked the expo floor and was happy to pick up free shit that I thought I or my family might enjoy.  ALSO(hold on, I need to climb higher on that soapbox o' mine), these sponsors who are handing out evil swag are also helping relieve some of the financial strain of getting us to the conference.  I mean $200 for a ticket is not a huge deal (I got earlybird ;) and $199 for a room that can be shared is also do-able so you know, think before you tweet, people.

Stuff that sucked.  There's not too much to moan about but since you're here... The food was god-awful.  While I'm typically a fan of Ragu and did enjoy the upbeat decor in the buffet area, I don't know if I'm alone in the fact that I would've loooved a vegetable or two to go with my heavily sauced chicken and my hearty meat upside-down pie thing.  However, I'm grateful for their support, yada yada, and actually do buy their products (seriously, I do).  Once I glimpsed the Mexican fiesta going on on Saturday I hit the door for some actual protein (which I got but not before almost having it out with a restaurant manager, the waiter, and due to a monstrously hungry stomach, my lunch-mates).  But hey, a little scurvy never killed anyone.  ;)

The parties were fun.  The free crap was a treat.  I even didn't mind seeing cute little babies here and there (as long as I'm not the one getting up to feed 'em, we're all good).  The down-side to any event featuring 1400 women?  DRAMA.  A drama-free zone it was not.  Obv.

I wasn't on the guest list for most of the little corporate soirees but I'm totally fine with that.  I don't need a list of names above and below mine to feel part of something and I don't need brands to covet me in order to feel good about myself.  While I felt that these private parties interfered with the general feeling of community surrounding the weekend (like, if you bother to travel to a networking conference, why spend so much time with peeps you already know?), I really have no strong opinion on this. 

But the real event after my own heart?  CheeseburgHers and fries at 10pm.  I mean really, as a girl with a weakness for junk food and fast food, McD's sure don't have to buy my love with a sponsored event.  But I'm sure glad they did.  :)

NOTE: I reserve the right to update, add to, or even publish additional posts about BlogHer as my memory allows...

 

 

BlogHer Sponsors? Who Needs 'Em...

I don't have a sponsor for BlogHer.  And based on the number of companies/PR firms/monied peeps that I deal with on an excruciatingly regular basis, this might seem strange.  But it's not.  Because I (sort of) wanted it this way.

When I bought my BlogHer ticket waaaaay back when the pricing was still considered "earlybird", it didn't even occur to me that I could actually get a sponsor to pick up the tab.  I know.  Rookie.  And then as I read the Twitter stream and talked to my blog-friends, I realized that it wouldn't take much to actually get this whole ordeal paid-for!  What was I waiting for?

So I created a cute little media package with neat little headings that included, Who Am I?  and What Do you Stand to Gain?  I added the number of unique visitors I get and some ideas I had that would get us (you) noticed at the big event.

And it sat in my documents.

At first, I scolded myself.  How will you ever find a sponsor if you don't actively look?  Put out feelers?  At least tweet that you're looking to represent someone?  Blog about it?

But nothing.

And the weeks and months rolled on.

And shockingly, nobody banged down my door in search of a blogger to sponsor.

And as time marched on, I noticed that most of my peers had sponsors.  What was wrong with me?  So I entered a few "no strings attached" contests, in hopes of being the lucky winner of an all (or partly) expense paid trip to Chicago.  But alas, I'm not one of those who wins things. 

Then it hit me.  I never went out to find a sponsor because I don't think I actually ever really wanted one.  I don't think I wanted the responsibility of representing anyone else's brand at BlogHer.  After all, I am a business-owner myself.  And a blogger.  And a big part of the reason why I'm so looking forward to BlogHer is the prospect of meeting people who might be interested in me and my brand.  And if I'm busy promoting others, I may miss that opportunity.  Next year might be different, but for now, something about representing others just wasn't feeling organic to me.

So there you have it.  I have finally secured an official sponsor for BlogHer '09 - and it's me.  See you there.  :)     

Blogher here, BlogHer there...

Why does it feel like BlogHer is just EVERYWHERE!! 

I'm excited!!  I am!!  But all this anticipation is making me nervous in places I didn't even know I had nerves!  I mean, there's the clothes.  Whatever.  I'm over that.  Then there's the parties.  How am I even supposed to know about them all, much less attend them all?

BREAKING NEWS - I'm no longer a big party girl.  I used up all the hours one is allotted to party in their lifetime in my 20s and I'm still catching up on sleep.  Seriously, I'm still tired!  I grew up in Montreal where the after-parties are twice as nice as the regular parties!  So yes, I'm still tired.

The other thing is, I have heard very little about the sessions themselves (one of the major reasons I'm traveling to Chicago for a 3-day period).  I mean, I suppose I could head on over to the BlogHer site, but since I'm getting almost 100% of my BlogHer info via Twitter and blogs, it seems reasonable to think that this other info should be sprouting up here and there as well.  After attending BlogHer Boston, part of the Reach-Out Tour last summer, I can say that I definitely enjoyed the panelists and am looking forward to more of the same. 

10mins later...  Matter of fact, I just checked out the agenda and I am stoked!!  Only problem I can foresee is that I might have trouble deciding where to be!  So many awesome sessions, only one me!  So do I opt-in to a mommy-blogging panel (a title which I do not necessarily identity with, btw) or should I check-in to the HTML seminar and become more adept at working the code on my blog? 

And if memory serves, the snacks at Blogher Boston were outstanding.  How ever will I fit in snack-time with all this other stuff going on?

And most importantly, how will I find time in my busy sessions & snacking schedule to check out what each and every one of you is wearing?

Facebook Etiquette a la Daily Grind

It has to be done.  I mean, someone needs to step-up to the plate and let people know what the proper etiquette is if you're going to join the 200 million+ and use Facebook.  Have you had an account for years?  This post is for you too. ;)

• Friending every single person you've ever known, and/or every single person you meet, is cheesy.  Take it from me.  Just because I met you once in passing does not mean I want to see pictures of your dog and kids nor does it mean I want you to have access to my innermost status updates.
• If I didn't like you then, I'm not gonna like you now.  It's possible that we're both on FB.  In fact, it's likely.  But if we had no great love for each other back then, one swift click of the mouse is not going to change that.  Let's be honest with ourselves and skip it.
• Maybe we did like each other back then, so please do Friend me!  But if we haven't had contact in 20 years, it'd be considered polite to drop a short note.  Just a little, "Hey!  It's been years!  We're both on this thing, nice to see you!" or something equally as generic will do.
• Don't ignore me.  If I actually bothered to send you a note, again, mind your manners and write back.  It's just common courtesy. 
• Don't collect Friends.  Seriously, I have to wonder about people who have 1201 Friends.  There's just no way you actually have that many friends. 
• Shameless self-promoters need not apply.  'Nuff Said. 
• About your status.  Keeping in mind that a status update is simply meant to be a brief glimpse into what's going on in your day, it's good to keep it just that.  that you just got lucky, that you just let loose some excess gas, that your child just took a dump on the toilet are NOT solid excuses for a status update!  Try to keep it entertaining, light and most importantly, try to make it appealing to your wide variety of Friends.  My rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it in real life, don't say it on FB.
• About those photos.  I'm all about the photo albums on FB.  But those pics of your child sitting on the toilet sporting an ear-to-ear grin?  Keep it for the (private) family album.  This is cute to no one but you.  Period.

And there you have it.  Though I'm by no means a FB guru, I am someone who spends lotsa time perusing the thing and in my time have picked up a thing or two about proper etiquette. 

Next up, Twitter-quette.  Here's a sneak-peak:

• Say it in 140 or don't say it at all.  If you need to continue your message in 4 subsequent tweets, you're saying toomuch and completely devastating the entire purpose of Twitter.  For a good example of this, see @KirstieAlley...

The Trampling of Twitter

It used to be that Twitter, a simple social networking site that allows users to "micro-blog" in 140 characters or less, was a sacred spot.  Its uses were arbitrary, unlimited, and often very different among users.

But once upon a time, most users had one thing in common - we were on Twitter to make connections.  To "meet" others who either shared some commonality with us or offered some interesting angle.  I was introduced to the site after a Facebook friend constantly included Twitter in her status updates, causing me to check it out.

It was clear from day 1 that this no-frills social website held some great opportunities for me, as well as the potential to meet interesting people.  In no time at all, I had new customers, was introduced to new products for my store, I was finding stimulating new blogs to read, and in general, just networking with people I wouldn't otherwise meet.

And then the celebrities descended.  And now it's a lot of picking through the rubble to find the content that matters.

Just don't follow the celebs, you say?  As an avid consumer of all things Hollywood, I only wish I had the willpower to stay away, but I can't.  Plain and simple.

So last week, Oprah decided to put an @ before her name and suddenly all hell broke loose.  Since Friday, @Oprah has amassed 400,000+ followers and updated just 13 times, beginning with an etiquette-breaking all-caps tweet, celebritweeting, tweets about her day, and the ice cream she would consume.

YAWN.

Then to top it off, Twitter, now being a house-hold name, was virtually unusable Friday night after everyone and their mother decided to check it out. 

Other celebs do it too.  Hugh Jackman (@RealHughJackman) tweeted this last week:

Good morning!

2:56 AM Apr 16th from web

 

And P Diddy (is that his name this week?), whose Twitter bio reads: King Combs (narcissist much?) constantly tells his followers - Let's Go! as if the king himself is really going to motivate people to get off their regular, everyday asses and go out and buy a Bentley and  act all above it all and if we're being really honest, ridiculous (ever see Making of the Band?).  See, this is the problem - I actually liked Diddy before he brought his ego to Twitter!

But my problem isn't really with these celebs, per se.  Often I'm actually particularly amused by their everyday mini-troubles.  For instance, @KimKardashian recently got a crazy hilarious sunburn and posted a pic of it on Twitter -

 

  

Funny, right?

 

 

 

 

And @HeidiMontag of Speidi fame constantly tweets things like this:

thank you God for every second im alive!

about 19 hours ago from mobile web

Uh, Heidi?  Based on the goings-on on your "reality" show, all you have to be thankful for are those ginormous boobies you paid for because your "fiance" is a first-class douche-bag and EVERYONE knows it (even you). 

Lastly, why do celebs join Twitter then follow only each other?  What's the point?  Couldn't they just chat one another up at the next gifting suite?  I mean, seriously?

Despite the intrusion, Twitter is definitely picking up speed.  Because of its famous users, the word Twitter is now a as commonly used as say, Facebook (or getting there).  Of course, the first time I heard of Twitter, I thought it was some kind of perverse new sex act...

Qwitter, I Know How To Quit You.

 

I'm proud to say that today, I'm a quitter.  That is, after months of opening my inbox only to be greeted by annoying alerts, taunting me just as children taunt each other on the playground, I finally got the strength to turn off the sadist in me and unsubscribe from Qwitter.  For you non-Twitterers, Qwitter is a service designed to let people know when they have lost a "follower."  Upon signing up, users receive an alert in their inbox to let them know that so and so has stopped following them:

It looks like this:

Hi, alexcaseybaby.

Sweet Sixteen (sweetsixteen) stopped following you on Twitter after you posted this tweet:

The new Chicken Soup for the Soul: Power Moms is a great read. Gr8 4 any mom. http://tinyurl.com/cfollp- win it!

 

So why in the world did I subscribe to such a masochistic app in the first place?  Because the drama-queen in me wanted to know when I lost a follower, and which tweet led to the break-up.  But in reality, I'm not really sure it's the tweet itself (or really anything I said at all) that leads to someone un-following me.  I think, in many cases, people follow just to be followed back.  I've used to term "friend-collector" to refer to this phenomenon in the Facebook world and it's not so different on Twitter except that on Twitter, a followee isn't obliged to follow anyone back.  And this is a nice part of Twitter, in that there are definitely peeps that I am interested in following who might have no interest in my tweets, and that's OK.  Because part of the reason I use Twitter is to gain knowledge or insight into topics and people I may or may not have anything in common with. 

 

For example, when this whole CPSIA debacle hit the headlines, I followed a writer named Walter Olson because he was up on this topic and writing about it regularly.  However, if he hadn't followed me back it would have been fine because I was more interested in what he had to say rather than dialoging with him necessarily.  But since Twitter is definitely also about making contact and exchanging ideas, this is just one of the ways I use it.  If I follow a fellow online store owner, it's not because I'm interested in the sales she's tweeting about, more likely I'm interested in forming an alliance, an online store-owner "club" if you will.  And this would require discourse and obviously, a follow back.

 

Being un-followed doesn't offend me.  I've been known to un-follow a Tweeter or two myself.  My reasons, however, have nothing to do with whether they follow me back (I don't think I've even ever checked) but they have had to do with one or more of these reasons:

• Constantly tweeting only about new blog posts or self-promotion.
• No @ tweets on their page.
• Offensive, abusive Tweeters.
• Ok fine.  Once un-followed someone simply because they un-followed me and I was mildly hurt.  But I got over it.

But still, I've turned off Qwitter because waking up to a barrage of break-ups just doesn't seem to be a healthy way to start the day.  Can't we just all be friends?

 

Getting Personal in a Digital World

If you're reading this blog, chances are, you're guilty.  I mean, even I've been known to escape to my office to check my email or glance furtively at my Blackberry during a family outing to see if anything is shaking on Twitter or Facebook.  I spend way too many lunches with my PC as my companion, log too many hours communicating via electronics, and definitely have too many "friends" that I socialize with digitally.

But here's the thing: I haven't completely turned my back on the old-fashioned phone call.  Or letter.  Or face-to-face visit.

While email, IM, Facebook, Twitter, text messaging and the myriad other means of digital communication are great tools for keeping in touch, dropping a note or confirming a lunch date, there are definitely times when none of these are appropriate.  And I'm writing this post because it seems many of us have forgotten this.  So in the spirit of etiquette, I'm going  to freshen your memory regarding when an email just doesn't cut it.

Thank-you notes.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  If someone is gracious enough to go to a store/website, pick out a gift for you/your new baby/your childyour marriage, show them some gratitude.  Nothing can take the place of a hand-written note.  Not to say you should draft a novel, just a quick note to let them know their thoughtfulness did not go unnoticed. 

Birthdays.  Ok, so this one isn't set in stone since even I, the self-proclaimed queen of the hand-written word has often forgotten to hit the store for the perfect card once or twice.  But consider this - don't you like to be called on your birthday?  Isn't it nice to hear those unexpected voices at the other end of the line, even if it is only once a year?  A birthday card is nice too.  An email/Facebook message can serve the purpose in a less personal, more "I have you in my thoughts but I'm too busy to spend much time on you" sort of way.  Not ultimately desirable, but effective nonetheless.

After a hospital stay.  A broad category, a hospital stay can include anything from having delivered a baby to being post-surgical.  Without our health we have nothing.  The same could be said for our friends and family.  Let's share the love, people.

Expressing Condolences.  There's almost no exception to this rule (unless you proclaim online that you lost a loved one in which case your online buddies might respond in the same way).  Pharmacies, card stores, even the corner store all carry dozens of condolence cards.  Our family even keeps a spare on-hand since you never know when you're going to need it.  And in the case of a close friend?  A phone call is always nice.

When it comes to personal communication, digital tools sometimes fall short.  We are social by nature and crave human contact.  Nurturing our relationships is the key to closeness and simply cannot be achieved by emails and instant messages. 

Like what I have to say?  EMAIL ME!!